It scares me when he says he's 'straightening up'...

I went out of town for 4 days this past week, and my husband was left alone to bask in the glory of an empty house.
The only, ONLY, thing I asked him to 'please do', was to mow the grass...watch ESPN, hang out, burp, scratch yerself, fart out loud, whatever...but please mow the lawn.
I called each day to check in...as all good wives do.
The day before I came home we were 'chatting' and he said,'yeah...I fixed Mia's chair (the one he broke to get her out of when she got stuck)...and I have been straightening up...'
Ohhhhh crap.
My husbands idea of 'straightening up' is to get a garbage bag, and anything HE thinks is non-essential, he throws away...
(I almost hurled.)
Yes, when I got home, the house was amazingly 'straightened up'...scarily so.
Being the wise woman that I am, I decided to check the huge trash can outside---I am glad I did.
Amongst the garbage, here are a few of the items I found/retrieved:
--my Book of Common Prayer that I got when I was confirmed...the one with the program from when I went and saw Desmond Tutu speak...yes, it is tattered because it has been used!
--the rock, that sits on my dresser, from my father's grave site...(!!!!)
--ALL, and I mean ALL, of Mia's stickers...sticker books as well...
--one of Roxy's favorite chew toys...
--my antivirus software, and update software, for my computer...
---the flower box from Mia's doll house...
--my Target reciepts for things for my big kids...
--an empty box of checks...including the 'please check to see if this information is correct' note with all the account numbers, his full name and address...(hello? ID theft?)
--an application to one of my craft shows...
--various books, etc.
...yeeeaaaaahhhh.
No. I did not flip out and go all high pitched bitch on him.
I remained quite calm actually.
I think NOW, he understands that 'thou shalt NOT throw my stuff away'...
I am currently working on training him to clean toilets, mop floors, wipe down countertops, learning the power of bleach/Windex...as well as how to scrub out a fishy pan he cooked in and left on the stove for 3 days...(oh, that funky funky smell!)
I have given up on the dishwasher training....
....and, no, the grass did NOT get mowed.
Men...gotta love em! 'Bless his heart', he meant well.