It was a gloriously dazzling morning Friday last...the birds were chirping, the sun was glistening...I had had that first cup of black tar (aka: my kinda coffee)...
I went skipping (not really) to the back door to let my lovely Roxy dog outside to tend to her morning 'duties' and her never ending squirrel patrol.
As I opened the door---all heck broke loose.
WHOOOOP! WHHOOOOP!
(Oh...SH*T! I had forgotten to turn off the security system!)
I scrambled as best I could, in my '(F)Uggs'----Fake Uggs---and luscious pink furry bathrobe, to the punch pad thingy for the alarm.
(It was lit up all green and flashing for me.)
The code? WHAT was the freakin' CODE to turn off the system???!!!
Automatically I dial in my ATM card pin number...the alarm was still going...and no money came out of the wall---DARNIT!
WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP! WHOOOOP!
(holy cow I am going to wake the neighbors!)
I dial in what I THINK is the code---and tah-dah! Grace under pressure wins again!
(and none of my 3 kids woke up!...which then worried me because they could sleep through gunfire if they had slept through THAT alarm!)
I went in to the kitchen to reheat my tar/coffee...and the phone rings.
It was the security company calling to see if everything was ok, if I was who I said I was...and (get this!) 'yes,ma'am...could you please tell me the secret password for your system?...'
Ummm. Secret password? WHAT secret password...????
With some hints from the kind customer service guy...I got it...sort of.
(He said, 'well, what you said is a form of the word, so, that's OK...')
About 45 minutes later...as I am doing the 'get-your-shoes-on-you-have-to-go-to-school' dance with my 5 year old....there is a knock on the door.
TWO cop cars are parked in front of my home...TWO!
I went outside to speak with the kind officers with there crispy uniforms...and guns.
Doing my best June Cleaver, southern belle, eyelash batting...I explained what had happened while letting out the dog...
They still wanted to see my ID.
(Super! Now all the neighbors were wondering why TWO cops are at my door...)
So,apparently, I checked out alright for them...I was me...and then?
They liked my landscaping and perennials so much, we had a nice little chat about pesticide-free gardening!
(Who knew!)
At least THEY did not ask me for a code word...
