'Before I Get Hit By A Bus...'

I was thinking last night about how unpredictable life can be.
You just never know what will happen in the next moment...will I be hit by a bus? Shot with a poison dart? Slip on the floor and konk my head on the counter? Who knows?
Then I started thinking, and remembering things that I want to make sure I tell my kids. Stuff about life, dating,marriage, babies, memories I have of them that still make me smile---and laugh.
So, I am starting this series of Notes for my kids.
I don't want to forget anything about them...and I want them to have references for later---when my alzheimer's kicks into full gear...
Here I go:
You 3 are the best things that have ever---ever---happened to me. Being your mom has been the coolest experience ever! I hope I make you as proud as I am of you. You 3 have beautiful souls, hearts and minds...use them for the greater good.
I will always be here for you no matter what...don't ever be afraid to ask me anything...your momma has done a LOT of living...and seen a LOT of things. Good stuff, and really bad stuff. You cannot shock me---trust that!
You 2 girls know how I feel about boys.
I pray you do not make the same mistakes I have made.
When someone shows you who they are---believe them the first time.
Sometimes being too forgiving can be a problem.
Listen to your gut...it will never fail you.
If a guy ever hits you, or knocks you to the floor---LEAVE.
(Then,call me and come over for a chat...and a drink.)
Words can be just as abusive...and hurt just as bad---LEAVE.
You will 'fall' in love many many times...and your heart will break just as many times. You will live. There will ALWAYS be that one that got away...but trust me, there are so many people in this world who will fit in to yours---right around the corner!
Searching for 'Mr. Right', instead of 'Mr. Right Now', is worth the wait.
There is no such thing as 'one true love'...(unless you become nuns.)
When you finally DO find the 'one'...have him come over. I have a few questions for him...after I finish his back ground check. He will need to bring proof of citizenship, current medical records, and the results from his AIDS and genetic testings. This is required. (Don't laugh!)
People are never really who they say they are...and I don't want you to find this out 6 months in to your marriage.(Been there, done that.)
...and for YOU, my son...in regards to girls.
Treat all females with respect.
Be kind.
Never---NEVER---lie to a woman...she will find out, and 'the wrath of the woman scorned' is not something you want to experience.
I am raising you to be a southern gentleman.You will have lovely table manners...you will NEVER chew with your mouth open.
You will be able to cook, and do your own laundry.(chicks totally dig that.)
I know it sounds 'icky' right now, but girls like flowers, kisses and good long hugs.
Of course, all the girls you go out with will, as well, go through rigorous interviews and background checks.
I'm not letting you go to just anyone. She must be as golden as you are to me!
For all 3 of my kids: You deserve the BEST.
The best life, loves, meaningful work---and I mean that.
If you want to become a female jet fighter pilot? I support you.
If you want to join the circus? Great! (I am coming to.)
You can be whatever will make you truly truly happy...
(I will put my foot down on the knife juggling or becoming a stripper...however, they do make good money in the high class joints. I may reconsider. NO!)

I will let you chew on this Note for a while...as I ponder what else I can tell you.
(and don't forget, I have your naked baby pictures...and I am not afraid to use them! hahaha!)
I love you!
Momma~ xoxoxox