My son will turn 13 tomorrow.
I cannot believe it. My favorite (and only son---soon to be the 'perfect man') is growing up....
But, alas, my beautiful boy...I must share how you arrived in my world...(Oh, stop. You will thank me later!)
The whole time I was pregnant with my 'boy-child' was a different experience than being pregnant with 'girl-child#1'....
I craved salty stuff...I would knock you DOWN to get to the home made onion dip and Ruffles with Ridges...and I was running after 'Girl Child #1' (GC1) who was a two-year-old...beautiful,wild and a 'biter'....not to mention 'potty training'. Yeah!
Since my son was the second inhibitor of my 'womb', he had plenty of room to stretch out and grow...I swear he stayed in a 'pike position' much of the time with his foot squarely planted on my rib cage.
(Yes...he actually BROKE my ribs, and created a wonderful freakish look to my ribcage...hence, the end of my bikini wearing days.)
I also had an 'ingroinal hernia'---that was 'fun'---'good times'...(but you were worth it, my love!)
My 'freakishly large belly' invited the general public to comment on my girth.
'Are you havin' twins? No way you are only having ONE baby'...
Oh. Thank you kind STRANGER...(at least I knew I had a BABY in my belly...and I was not just FAT like YOU!...hahaha!)
Moving along....
The night before I was to be induced---so my son would not be a 'leap year baby', I was chastised on the phone by a wicked woman who thought I had 'dissed' her grown up/screw up of a son...NICE!
Seriously?...did she know I was having a BABY the next day? Priorities....PRIORITIES!
I had been sleeping in the baby nursery for weeks because of my 'bulk'...peaceful, and the kitties slept on either side to make sure I was OK...(quite frankly, they were preferred company!)
Long about 4a.m....I started feeling 'funky'...(any mommas out there, know what I mean...)
My H, at the time, luckily had not gone out with the boys that night---(as he had the night I went in to labor with GC1) and drove me to hospital at 6:30a.m.
It was all business when I checked in...got to put on that sexy hospital gown, and got hooked up to monitors...anti-pain drugs galore!
Guess WHAT! I was in labor! (Imagine THAT!)
My doc---who I LOVED---came in...and GIGGLED at me!...(Love him as I did...I still wanted to throw something at him! hahah!)
So, the waiting started....
...and went on and on....
I knew I was getting ready to pump out 'a big baby'---(yes, thank you nurses for letting me know that! DUH!)
15 hours of labor...epidural...pitosin...GAME ON!
My son's heart rate dropped drastically and there was a flurry of C-section preparedness going on...
Good GOD! Everyone was throwing on scrubs/masks/gloves...shit!
Things were dinging/binging/ringing...I was freaking out...
'You need to lay on your side!'
(OK, people! I am numb from the waist down! LITTLE HELP!)
My son's heart rate stabilized and everyone chilled out....
...more waiting...and 'checking'...(any Mommas know how much FUN that is!---GEEZ!)
Time---FINALLY!---to push!
Seriously...so ungraceful/unladylike when a nurse and H (now X1) hold your feet so you can 'push and count to 10'...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD...his head was out!
And, then...'1-2-3-4-5-...!'
My Doc...(and I kid you NOT) put his FOOT on the table to pull Boy Child's shoulders out!
(and with that...my lower...non-active---half was hanging off the table!)
Again: 'Lil HELP here people!'...and they shoved me back on to the bed/table...
And...my BEAUTIFUL son was born---screamin' his head off! (He was pissed off because he was cold...he hates being cold to this day!)
Happy! SOOOOO HAPPY!
(and yeah---he weighed in at 8lbs. 15oz's...and he pee-ed on the way out (sorry, hon, but you did.)...so, I claim him as my '9lbs. of LOVE!)
My doc held him by the foot like a chicken and flopped him in to the 'french fry lights' bassinet...
He was OK...he was PERFECT!
The nurses nicknamed him 'sumo'...his pediatrician later nicknamed him 'Brick'...MY BOY!
I nicknamed him 'Monkey Boy' because he snuggled up around my neck for the next 5 months and stayed there!...sweet...easy going...beautiful.
I love you, my son...you are the best 'man' in my life...God help the girl who wants to marry you someday...(She's got some high standards from 'yo momma' to live up to...I'm not letting you go to just anyone!)
and, PS: Hope I did not embarrass you too much! xoxoxoxMomma~
I want to cry! That was really beautiful and so very similar to my experience bringing Nolan into the world (except I actually needed the c-sec). I loved it, great read!
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