Fairy Stone Park

I took my son 'Bobby' and my Little One to Fairy Stone Park today...

Little One and I were chatting before she went to bed last night and she was 'so excited' to find some Fairy Stones...

'Are they all blue and sparkly?' she asked...

'Well, not really...they are beautiful, but they are usually muddy and very small'....I told her.

'Oh...' she said...kinda disappointed.

Then I realized, really, her whole life is like a Disney  film...

'Fairy'=Tinker Bell, the Fairy Dust, and little pixies with unusual body proportions...

My son and I just 'went with it'...as they say.

He asked her if she was 'gonna look for Fairies at the Park?'

'YES!...and if I find Tinker Bell, I will put her in the jar with my silly bands...but I will take out the silly bands so she has room to fly around!'...

Oh my sweet little imaginative 'fairy' girl!

(You are all Love...sprinkled with Pixie dust!)

First Day of School

(I heard this on the radio this morning...reminds me of Little One....although she is not riding the bus...but still...)
I Trust You'll Treat Her Well

By Dan Valentine

Dear World,

I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crispy dress with two blue eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long and a flash of light blond hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Goodbye" and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in lines and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells and deadlines and she'll learn to giggle and gossip and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy 'cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And, now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside.

And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about those important things like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls.

And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers which is only right.

But, no longer will I be the smartest, greatest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group with all its privileges and its disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud or kiss dogs or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.

Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.

So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crispy dress with two blue eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long…and a flash of light blond hair that bounces in the sun when she runs.

I trust you'll treat her well. .

Words to LIVE by....

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

My UN-Love Affair with Math.

My oldest daughter needed some Algebra review over the summer...
As I printed out worksheets for her...I got that old icky feeling again.
Math and I are not good friends...we are hardly even acquaintances anymore.
It all started with Addition in first grade...which was fine...
I love apples, pears, and oranges....and I can add them together, subtract them...I am comfortable with fruit salad.
Then the Multiplication Tables came into the room---and blew me away.
Remember those 'timed multiplication table tests'?
(aka: 'Instant Anxiety attack for a 9 year old...cloaked in that stupid piece of paper.')
I would get sick to my stomach, my head would ache, and the 'tick-tocking' of that stupid stop watch! OH MY GOD!
(I would have rather burned my coveted Wacky Packages than do that test.)
Then, the ultimate 'gut grabber' was the smacking down of the pencils as everyone else finished...scooching their chairs back as I sweated through the third of four columns to still be finished...Mrs. Mack would call 'time'...and it was like a slow mo action shot from a film...'NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'!!!!
I did (finally) learn my multiplication tables after getting really tired of adding up 7+7+7+7+7+7+7...etc.
Fractions were friendly to me because I could visualize the apples, pears and oranges divided in sections---though I don't know that all my fruity doodles were all that appreciated on my tests.
Decimals sucked.
Long Division was friendly.
My kids learned some kind of weird division in school, and I gave up trying to help them with homework.
(Bring on the Creative Writing, or a Pilgrim Village built from Popsicle sticks! I'm the 'Diorama Diva!)
I gave up a Study hall in 9th grade so I could sit through 2 simultaneous bells of Algebra with Mr. Rullman---King of the Levi flat front corduroys.
He even dragged my desk (with me sitting in it) to the board one day when I did not understand something----(THANKS for THAT Rodney!)
Oh, yes...and then there was Geometry with Mr. Everheart...a guy that no one was ever sure if he was not high...or something.
(And thank you Julio for making the 'bong noises' in to your canned Coke during class...you smelled like pot, and the giggling did not help my fleeting concentration.)
I always miraculously 'forgot' my notebook, or geometry book...and would ask to be excused so I could 'go to my locker'....(and flirt with the senior boys on the way back....okok! I admit it!)
*Note: another way to get 'excused' from his class would be to clutch my purse, and ask to go to the Ladies room...you know...'female emergencies' totally freak out male teachers! hahaha!
So all my shenanigans earned me a spot in Summer School at First Colonial HS...aka: Surfer-Boys-A-Go-Go'...geometry was easier there...and I passed the class.
(Although, that was the summer Chris Hearn slammed his 1978 Bronco (with a lift) into my Chevette...and I subsequently slammed my head in to the steering wheel---2 reconstructive septum surgeries later, I am OK...thanks.)
I took Algebra 2---twice...my Junior and Senior years...nice.
(and thank you to all my Physics tutors who helped me graduate---my payback was all the awesome illustrations I did for you of the dead pig in Biology---so, we are even!)
I actually made it through 6 years of college without taking Math!
(I did have to take Biology for 'Non-Science Majors' my Senior year---and thank you to the professor who passed me---I still love you.Glad we had that talk, and you thought I was 'charming'.)
I can say this, though.
I graduated with a BFA in Fashion Design...and I can measure the heck outta some fabric...fractions and all.
I can also tell you how many yards you need to reupholster a sofa...
(20 yrds. depending on the repeat)

'What I did on Summer Vacation...'

July 2010, I took my 12 year old son and my oldest daughter (for her 15th birthday present) to see Train and John Mayer.
It was my son's first concert...my daughter's second.
(I took her to see The Jonas Brothers/Demi Lavatto a few years back...I know! The things we endure for our kids, right?)
The show was at an outdoor amphitheatre.
Of course, it had not rained here in central North Carolina in, oh, say, 45 days---and it POURED that day!!!
My daughter hijacked my uber cool North Face jacket, and I wore the 'nerdy mom raincoat'---again, sacrificing my evaporating 'coolness' so my girl would feel good.
When we first got to the concert venue,of course there was a huge mass of people...my girl stuck close by as we navigated the long lines to get in.
Once we cleared the gates, she was walking quickly ahead of me by a good six paces...occasionally looking back---a juxtaposition of teenage 'independence' and her fear of being 'abducted'.
(yes, I am one of the moms that tells her kids to stick close to me in crowds 'because someone could steal you and I'll never see you again'...so far, I have not lost any of my three kids!)
My son always sticks close to me, so, he was not a worry.
He was, however, embarrassed that I took off my flipflops and was walking barefoot in the wet grass...'MOM! Put your shoes back on!'...I explained to him it was no big deal---and would he rather me wipe out walking down the hill? (haha!)...plus, the grass felt really good on my feet.
It was a warm summer rain as we rocked out to Train...one of the hazards of 'lawn seats' I'm afraid...we were soaked!
My son and I enjoyed 'people watching'....
...and as with everything, it turned in to a 'learning experience' the later it got, and the more 'happy' the people around us got...
Nothing like some sloppy drunk girl hanging off her boyfriend and pawing at his crotch to start a conversation about 'how NOT to act at a concert'...geez.
(My 15 year old and her friends were giggling and their eyes were as big as saucers...I was embarrassed for the drunk/pawing girl...she looked like an idiot.)
Once it got dark, John Mayer started playing...and suddenly, the air was quite 'fragrant'...
(again, another 'learning experience' that I was glad to be there to explain...!!!)
I am open and honest with my kids, and like to address things head on...so, we covered 'PDA' and 'over indulgence' issues. (check that off the 'awkward things I need to talk to my kids about' list!)
BOTH my kids were absolutely HORR-I-FIED that I was actually dancing to the music...and 'OMG'---SINGING!
My son was just irritated, and my daughter kept looking back at me (from 10 yrds. away) giving me the 'stink eye', eye roll and mouthing the word 'STOP!'...She's got talent, yes, she does...to be able to do all THREE at ONCE! (I'm so proud.)
It almost became a game of 'freeze dance' because I would stop every time she turned around...haha! Seriously, I wish my kids would not feel so 'boxed in'...and just let go and dance! (I mean, no one could look as idiotic as 'drunk/pawing girl'!)
...and I was not doing freaky hippy stuff, ending with 'jazz hands' like the dude beside me...(now, THAT was embarrassing!)
All in all, we had a really good time, and laughed a LOT---which is the point! I am hoping my kids enjoyed the concert---and the free 'public education'...haha!
'Life is not about waiting
for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain!'

Cotton is Cotton, yall.

I was listening to the View this morning---midst all the packing boxes and my entertaining of Little One...
They did a segment on ways to 'save' on clothing costs.
(Hasselbeck, with her glossy stiff lips and $400 shoes had her typical 'I think I smell something foul, here' look on her face...but I digress.)
OK. So the big 'secret' was shopping at TJMaxx and Marshall's...
'These shorts would cost $160.00 in a department store, we got them just for $19.99 at TJMaxx!'
(Big ooo's and ahhh's from the audience...)
Seriously?
Who pays $160 for a pair of shorts?
Maybe it's my way of thinking. (Even if I was swimming in cash, I would not spend that.)
I am a Fashion/Costume Designer by degree/trade.
I have studied textiles, tailoring...I can sew. I know what the cost is to produce a garment vs the mark up from retailers...I can spot a well made garment from a mile away. I can also tell you what the fiber content is by touching the fabric...(yes, I am a 'toucher'.)
Cotton is Cotton, yall.
A $4.00 Tshirt is a $4.00 Tshirt...slap a spiffy label on it and suddenly that T is now $45.00. (my case and point is the whole Abercrombie hype...or whatever your 'label' is. My oldest daughter would save up her babysitting money to buy tissue weight cotton tees...on sale...for $25.00. My 'guestimate' is that shirt cost $2.00 to make---overseas---and the companies are making a killing with the mark up. Even the 'label' is marked up. It is a 3 inch piece of printed ribbon---costing maybe 10 cents...and lest we not forget, the treatment of workers in overseas factories, fair trade, the outsourcing of American textile jobs---but that discussion is for another day.)
I have seen people, first hand, who will wear something that looks like 'poo' on them...and brag '...and it's Armani'...(you still look like 'poo', darlin---just sayin'.)
Granted, I will buy a garment if it is made well, and of good quality fabric (I do believe in 'investment pieces')...but never at full retail prices...
I guess...maybe...my point is...you are what you wear...and I'd rather be 100% cotton and fairly made---and purchased. (wait...that sounded bad! hahaha!)

The Apology from 'A Fish Called Wanda'...

(One never knows when these words will come in quite handy....)

"I am...really, really sorry. I take it back unreservedly.
...I do.
I offer a complete and utter retraction...The imputation was totally without basis in fact...and was in no way fair comment and was motivated purely by malice...
...and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you....or your family... and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander...at any time...in the future."

(Of course...it must be said with a British accent...with....the appropriate pauses!)